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I will see what it is like

off to Savu Savu in the Pacific
champions vs contenders
they are sailing up a river on a boat/raft type of thing. They have indigenous folk watching some of them

the champions are not survivor chams but champs in hier profssion we have rugby players some old lady swimmer.. oh I think it is Shane Gould OMG Russel Haitch. my absolute favourite player of all times.. the most evil character e ver

some army guy... has artificial legs.....

versus the contenders..... Russell really should be here cos he never won survivor
we have some boy who uses chinese miliatry strategy... omg a lady who s ellis ice cream in supermarkets, some guy who tells us he is gonna get food and fire.. it is time for a hero to win....

well so far so good

he asks the conteners if they are intimmidated nah.. along come the champs..there are a lot of omgs Russ is immediately recognised. One contender says it is good to see Russel.. he said they should be worried.... why are you a champion.. well I am a good old guy.. I have played the game before... Russ aint saying nuffin

first contest to win stuff
pick one person from each team to slide down the plastic slide and chase a prize

first up is a pillow
ah we have an Aussie rules lady player..she tells us growing up she didint always have food or clothes....... Pies player so off they go and they fight over it... she is much fitter but t he contenders win this one

bag of rice... here we go... and the contenders win again

bag of pineapples two girls go for it...... contenders win again

more fruit... oranges, shane sits on em and the other tries to get em..... Champs win this one

Rope champs

flint.. champs

one girl says how good is it not to have to shave my legs and do the whole beauty thing

champs start the fire and build camp

Russ says my first impressions they didnt come to play. they came to be hard workers and b e the good ol boys... Russ has already started talking to the girls .. he calls Monica a pretty face... he can use that... he calls himself King Russell he hasnt learned a thing............. at this rate he will get voted off first

contenders seem to be geting along.. probably a snake somewhere but right now they work together to get the shelter built. but do I see alliances forming.. the asian guy is idol hunting already.. a police officer discovers what he is doing when he gos through the rice and he tells the others

they try and make fire with some sort of weird conraption. i see smoke but no fire

chamos are warm with fire and fed. Contenders are hungry

In the am they find a mound of temites and are so hungry they try eating them. Shelter is still not built.. some guy a consruction manager is a bit annoyed

the asian guy still thinks no one knows what he is doing.... the girls talk to him.. appears he is a bit of a sports fan.. adventure stuf,,, he tells the girls about his daughter Victoria

One of the champs is a cosmosolgogist an has em fascinated about dark energy and stuff he feels that t he social game is the hardest for him

Russell works out that t he nerd likes ms universe hmm how can I use these slaves...... good old Russ

he goes idol hunting.... he needs no clue... it is not luck but a science.. he look for shapes and here we go he finds one

next a challenge which as you know I dont like much so i dont describe..but it is very physical... climbing walls and so on.... undoing knots.... now they have a battering ram and have to break down a wall...both teas are through..now to finish the puzzle...champs are stuck on some lock thing

contenders are on the puzzle an are tring it out champs are out and getting pieces too.... conteners almost done no wait champs catch up.. matt for t he conteners cant spell and stuffs it up

camps have done it and now champs are throwing stuff at it and knocking pieces off

dickhead matt has completely fucked up his team.. he tries to knock pieces off.... long way to catch up.. Champs win look out matt tribal for you

one of t he contenders is hurt.. will she have to go home... will matt be safe?

centenders building shlters
asian guy asks one of the big guys who to vote out? weaker players perhaps says big guy..... Zach but t hen the big guys all say Steve,,,I would have gone Matt

now the girls what do they think.... yes they agree.. Steve he is not really pat of the tribe they s ay... then a wankers aises the idol bogey..... matt the dick head.... shut up.. he want to split the vote.. careful matt they will turn on you,, he talks to some of the big dogs and begins to freak out

so will he find the idol? he is trying

girls wonder where Matt is.... they go looking for him... find him hunting for idol..... sheesh it is not a crime... some of these people are nuts...most of them!!!

the plan is Steve they insist

so what happens???

well matt let steve have it..all the idol hunting.. steve said he did get close to the host cos he is har of hearing... um...........what has that got to do with hearing own it

then some guy sai to Matt you were idil hunting too yeah of course

then Matt said with the bromance... what bromance asks steve, matt said come on you are a game players you c na see it
Matt then names all the bromance.. he said it wasobvious he was being targetted cos they refused to give sraight answers

Zach said want the team to be strong so we can go as far as we can''

matt said well how come I cant get a straight answer. some girl said too early.. we are all just trying to get to know eachother

then matt said what the girls dont get is that ( and the girls get annoyed g eneralisation) an then matt dops off wile others discuss things and then Matt starts hassling the girls.......look out....... the girls are getting annoyed

Zach said w hen did you try and talk to me.... Matt said when I asked you the alternate vote you didint say anything.

then the girls got annoyed a bout being called puppets
one guy s aid it was disappointing to hear Matt go on like this

so are you guys sticking to the plan.. t hey all say they are

so the vote.....steve votes for matt matt votes for steve
and the count is
Matt, Matt, Matt matt steve and the damn pvr shuts down'

in the end it is matt... he shoulda shut his mouth eh?

woo hoo the show starts with young healthy naked men frolicing on the beach...........ah..............
Not Steve who rattles on about plotting
the girls are impressed... damn fine bodies I gotta say

alas back in clothes

Shane tells us she is happy how the team is working together.. people have prepared well with survivor skills

some of the girls have found pippies by the shore and throw them in the pot.. champs are doing well they feel

contenders feel that it is good to be the nderdogs.. yes the champs are awesome, but everyone was a contender at one point.

some boring family talk

champs boring bitches have targetted Russ.... he hasnt talked to them yet.. are they jealous.. they w atch him talk to others and know he is up to something. Russ feels the tension and decided he is not gonna be the easy out.. I am gonna shake it up he tells us...so he walks up to people and tells them I know I am an easy out but I am not gonna allow hat to happen and he shows em the immunty neckless.. some hags freak up... he said I could have played it in secret, but I want an open game

they all get into a flap

a stupid sumo challenge is on.... I will ff through it.. I hate this crap

winners get to choose between comfort items a nd a fishing kit

Champs sit Sam out

champs win and take the comfort items